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Anatomy of a Russian Girl's Profile

Well, you can't see my tongue in my cheek (just try to remember that I am a very sarcastic person), and a lot of guys (agencies) won't like this, but hey, let's have some fun. And as Russians say; every joke has some truth in it. Here is what most guys don't not realize when they read a profile. There is more in the subtext. (between the lines) I hope this makes you view profiles in a new way. As I say way too often, I have been here since 1999. I know how things are here. And how things are and how they are portrayed at agencies is a little different. 

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Actual Meaning Jim's Comment
Date of birth: 

Nov 1, 1978

That was easy, now I have to think of things to say that make me more appealing while trying to be truthful.. One of the rare times that you will find a truth on a profile.
Age:  30 Ditto. But usually looks 5-10 years older
Height:  161 cm ~ 5ft 3" 1-2 cm added to actual height. Unless quite tall, then maybe 1-2 cm less so as not to scare you. Learn heights in cm. Nobody can seem to agree of the ft/in conversion.
Weight:  49 kg ~ 108 lb Actual weight is more or less. Winter & summer - it varies. Hope for the best.
Eye color:  Grey Blue & brown don't exist in Russia. I must think of a beautiful colour to describe my amazing eyes. Usually beautiful to gaze into for hours at a time..
Hair color:  Chestnut That's the colour this year. 99.99% of girls dye their hair.
Build body:  slim Even if you don't consider it slim, I DO!! What profile doesn't say 'slim'?
Education:  University And if you don't have a university education, you aren't intelligent. (and not cultured) Finding a non-university graduate is RARE.
Profession:  economist Or doctor or lawyer or teacher or supreme court judge. Studied it, but not really one.
Occupation:  economist How rare this is the same as the profession. I will describe my mediocre job as something great.(& incomprehensible)
Smokes:  No

Light

Yes

I might smoke, or might not.

I am not a chain smoker.

I am a chain smoker.

Girls often lie about this because they know most guys don't like smokers. "Oh, I made a mistake when I made my profile. I asked them to change it, but I guess they didn't."
Drinks:  No

Light

Yes

Well, only if there is a party, I go out, or a friend is drinking.

If I am in a place where there is alcohol.

Let's go walking. Wait, let me get a beer first.

Most girls who don't drink, drink. Light drinking means at events. What girl says she drinks?
Zodiac:  Scorpio Read the characteristics and be prepared. RW like astrology.
Marital status:  Single

Divorced

Maybe I am divorced.

I am honest.

They will never mention it if you don't ask. And hate talking about their past.
# of children:   1 child It might be more. Have you heard about Russian child behavior? Find and read!!!
Child 1 Name:  Natalia Another truth rarity. Usually chosen for no reason.
English:  Level 3 I might speak no English and it will be very hard to have a conversation or I might speak better than this to help the agency make money. Cross your fingers.
About herself: I am intelligent. More intelligent than you. But I will never say this. I will just think it. Forget the fact that I know ZERO about world geography, world history, world politics, or other world facts. I know what I studied in university. (Medicine, economics, etc) and therefore, I know everything.
  I am beautiful. All Russian girls are beautiful. Even if all men would say that a certain girl isn't beautiful, they are wrong. All Russian women are beautiful. And because I am beautiful, I should be treated like a star.
  I am slim. Partly because of genetics, partly because I rarely eat and partly because the food I do eat is such poor quality, I never gain weight. If you think I will look like this when I turn 30 years old or after having a child, guess again. The odds of me not losing my looks is 1 in 1000. Regardless of this, I will always be beautiful. ALL Russian girls are beautiful.
  I am honest. Little white lies don't count. Hell, big, fat lies don't count. I am allowed to tell lies because I am an honest person. Got it?
  I am sincere. I might fake tears to get what I want, or tell you want you want to hear or tell a white lie, but since I am doing it because I sincerely want what I am trying to get out of you, I am sincere.
     
     
 Seeks Partner: Clever Clever enough to make money. You will never be as intelligent as me.
  Handsome Handsome enough so I don't cringe when I look at you. But the beauty level can vary depending on the size of the bank account.
  Stable This means rich. Rich enough to give me the life I think I deserve, have heard about from other beauty queens who met rich foreigners and from what I have seen on TV about rich Westerners. (Why the hell do you think I am doing this?)
  Interesting If you sit and watch TV, your gone. I expect you to do things with me without me having to ask and I had better like it.
  Honest If you ever lie to me, I will be deeply offended for a long time. How could you even possibly think about telling me a little white lie? I am honest, I expect you to be.
       
Seeks Partner:  35 - 44 years old I would never date a guy of this age in my country, but for rich you who doesn't live in conditions like mine, I'll make an exception. Aren't we lucky?
Times Contacted:  5 I have talked to about this many guys, although a lot more freaks have contacted me. This is a rough estimate.


 

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