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File created: Dec 12, 06
This
is Irina Shohonova
or
Anna Massanova or these
girls
  
Terskaya
,
Russia
Here is her love
letter...
Hi,
my ****.
I do not know how you will
perceive my letter and all what I will tell you,
but I will be
honest with you as always. And I ask you to read my letter up to the
end!
Never in my life I felt so bad
even though I have the best news in all my
life.
My dear! I got the visa! I did it! I am very happy, I have no words to
describe how
I was happy!!! I also have found out that I will get my vacation on
October, 2!
But my dear, please, forgive me, but I feel that I cannot come to you.
Even
though
I have overcome the most difficult, with tears in my eyes I am
compelled to
tell you
that I could not overcome all obstacles. But before you will make any
conclusions,
I want you to know that I did all I could. I have been to the company
that
reserves
airway tickets. I asked them
how I can reach Orlando (MCO) and how much it
costs.
They have offered to me the ticket that costs $1274.80 USD. I asked
them to
find
cheapest ticket, because this price is expensive for me. They have
answered
that they have a cheaper ticket
and the beginning of the flight October, 6,
2005.
It costs $857 USD. It was the
best variant for me. The number of the flight
on which I can get
the ticket is 31 Delta Airlines.
The time of departure from
Moscow
is 1:15 pm
. The time
of arrival in Orlando is 8:20
pm .
This flight will change a plan
in New York
(JFK),
number of the flight 2029
Delta Airlines.
After
this I can fly to Orlando
,
to you. I asked them to reserve a ticket.
But they refused, because they
cannot reserve the ticket without advance
payment. I must
pay full cost. I have asked if
I can pay a part of money now, and the other
part later. They
have told that it is possible,
but I will be limited by term. And if I will
not pay the full cost of the
ticket within of this term, I
will lose already nested money. I have agreed
because it is the only
chance for me,- because I must
give to anti-emigration committee a data
about my payment.
By this moment I had only the
concrete sum of money which I had after all
my expenses.
I paid them $ 510 USD. But it
was not enough for them. All what Olga and I
could do
- we pawned our gold earrings
and rings and I got $ 113 USD. That is all I
could do.
My dear! Forgive me. I cannot
come to you, because I have not the remaining
sum.
I have given them all I had. I
write all this to you - only because I want
you to know
that I was honest up to the end
and I have given all that I had. I do not
ask you about
anything. I understand that I
have no moral right. You spoke about bad
women, you
spoke about money and I do not
want you to compare me to bad women. That is
why
I explain to you my situation.
Most recently you wrote to me about other
bad women,
and I felt shame for them. I
even could not imagine that I will get in such
a
situation.
I know that I promised to do
all by self, and I was sure that I can. I have
passed
through so many difficulties,
and I have overcome the most difficult. But,
all the same,
I have disgusting feeling that
I could not fulfill the promise. I am always
ready to do
all what is possible,- to
fulfill my promises, but at the same time I
understand that
any person could get in such a
situation. To get the visa I have spent much
more
money than I expected. But
people were ready to help me only if I will pay
them.
I paid more than 300 dollars to
get all documents, I paid in municipal
committee,
in the ministry. Even officers
in army garrison have compelled me to pay
for their help.
I did not expect all this, but
up to the last moment I was sure that I
still can make everything.
But my hopes have collapsed
when I have understood that I will not get my
vacation money.
I expected that I can get a
vacation payment. We get a vacation payment
after ending
of a vacation. I asked to give
me this money now because I need this money
urgently.
But, at the last moment I have
got the answer that I can get this money
urgently only
in case of serious illness or
for example in case of death of the relative.
Except of that
I have been compelled to buy
new windows and to employ the repairman to fix
my
windows.
It was also money that I
prepared for us. I feel so guilty. I was sure that
nothing
can prevent
our meeting. I feel very badly,
but for me it is twice difficult to write
all this after you told me
all those things about other
women. Therefore I ask you to forgive me that
I cannot come
to you. And I ask you even if
you are angry, do not compare me to bad
people.
At least I was honest and 300
dollars that I have spent to get the visa,
and 623 $ that I have given
for the ticket are huge money
for me. And even though now I will obviously
lose all this,
I want you to know that I have
given everything not for the sake of myself,
but for the sake of us, for the
sake of you and me. And I was happy all
this time.
But also comprehension of my
position convinces me, that any person could
get in
similar situation. But I am
simple person, I am the simple woman. I am not
the wizard.
Any person could get in a
similar situation. I want to meet you but I can't
meet
with you because
I could not provide my travel
completely. I cannot endure a thought that
all I have given
for our meeting was in vain.
The visa is in my hands, but I cannot meet
you, and this thought
breaks my heart. I don't want
to simply refuse our meeting because then all
my diligence,
forces, nerves, means will be
spent in vain. But I can't do anything. I
want you to be confident
in my sincerity, - that is why
I send you the view of my visa. At least you
will see that I am
completely honest. I am not
asking you about anything except of
forgiveness.
All that I can do now - to ask
you to forgive me that I could not fulfill
my promise. But
together with Olga we have
given all we could. You see, I am not as strong
as
you could think.
I am the simple weak woman. I
do not know what answer I will get from you
if I will get one.
But I ask you to not scold me
and to not compare me to bad people. Even if
you are angry,
I ask you to not mention bad
people and to not scold me, because I was
honest and
I have already lost all that I
had. I do not want to receive from you
spiteful letter because
in my heart now there is too
much pain. My heart is burnt and my eyes are
filled
with tears. So if you will
answer me, please, do not compare me to bad
people and do not abuse me. I
sincerely did all that was in my forces.
Your
always Irina Shohonova.
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